June 9th, 2015 (Tuesday)

Another list is being released this morning.  I try not to get my hopes up.  I’m at work and quickly check for an email before walking into a yearly review with my boss/friend.  My heart stops a beat as I see an email from Simi stating she has a hold on an eight year old.  I read the medical list of medical conditions in the email and I’m scared.  This little girl has been thru a lot and has more hurdles to cover.  For some reason I feel drawn to her and I have not even gotten her file from Simi yet.  I go into my review totally scattered and share with Heidi why I can’t focus.  I also tell Heidi about the other referral we declined and how hard this has been for me.  Heidi encourages me that these children will get parents, and we were not the ones, and I need to take the pressure off myself.  Very simple encouragement but it was what I needed.  What if we say no to this little girl?  Will our agency think less of us?  Who will adopt her?  Should I even agree to look at this file if the medical conditions seem overwhelming?  Could I even say no after seeing a child’s face.  I call Lee and he says lets at least review the child’s record. 

My dear friend Melissa is stopping by to pick up a kitten and I ask if she has 15 extra minutes to help me come up with a list of questions for our adoption agency about this case.  I left work and met her at the house.  It was so good to briefly talk with her and calm down.  We came up with a list of the most important questions. 

I called Simi back asking many things, but specifically about this orphanage. What can she tell me about it?  She mentioned a family that adopted from this orphanage a couple years back and now takes a team of doctors every fall.  Simi said she would email this family to see if it would be ok for us to contact them. 

I went back to work to finish out my day.  It was 8:30 pm till Lee and I had a chance to review and open up this little girls file.  I fell in love with this little girl instantly!  All the medical information and pictures were over a year and a half old.  Lee noticed her birthday date and said she isn’t eight but five right now.  Talk about having to switch gears with my thinking.  I was happy in many ways that she was younger…less competition between Kate and her, more time to have an influence, and less catch up in school. 

She had already at only 5 had cleft palate surgery and heart surgery.  She also had limited use of her right limbs.  So many questions run thru your mind.  Could she take care of herself?  Was she able to walk?  With medical care in the states would she regain movement in her right leg and arm.  How would her classmates treat her when they would see she is different? Ok Lord we beg of you to make it clear if Chen Hui Li is our little girl.  Lee and I agreed we would do some research the next day.  We have 24 hours to sign a letter of intent and then 72 hours to say we accept or do not accept. That night we prayed (or I should say begged) in bed that God would make it clear.