June 9th, 2015 (Tuesday)

Another list is being released this morning.  I try not to get my hopes up.  I’m at work and quickly check for an email before walking into a yearly review with my boss/friend.  My heart stops a beat as I see an email from Simi stating she has a hold on an eight year old.  I read the medical list of medical conditions in the email and I’m scared.  This little girl has been thru a lot and has more hurdles to cover.  For some reason I feel drawn to her and I have not even gotten her file from Simi yet.  I go into my review totally scattered and share with Heidi why I can’t focus.  I also tell Heidi about the other referral we declined and how hard this has been for me.  Heidi encourages me that these children will get parents, and we were not the ones, and I need to take the pressure off myself.  Very simple encouragement but it was what I needed.  What if we say no to this little girl?  Will our agency think less of us?  Who will adopt her?  Should I even agree to look at this file if the medical conditions seem overwhelming?  Could I even say no after seeing a child’s face.  I call Lee and he says lets at least review the child’s record. 

My dear friend Melissa is stopping by to pick up a kitten and I ask if she has 15 extra minutes to help me come up with a list of questions for our adoption agency about this case.  I left work and met her at the house.  It was so good to briefly talk with her and calm down.  We came up with a list of the most important questions. 

I called Simi back asking many things, but specifically about this orphanage. What can she tell me about it?  She mentioned a family that adopted from this orphanage a couple years back and now takes a team of doctors every fall.  Simi said she would email this family to see if it would be ok for us to contact them. 

I went back to work to finish out my day.  It was 8:30 pm till Lee and I had a chance to review and open up this little girls file.  I fell in love with this little girl instantly!  All the medical information and pictures were over a year and a half old.  Lee noticed her birthday date and said she isn’t eight but five right now.  Talk about having to switch gears with my thinking.  I was happy in many ways that she was younger…less competition between Kate and her, more time to have an influence, and less catch up in school. 

She had already at only 5 had cleft palate surgery and heart surgery.  She also had limited use of her right limbs.  So many questions run thru your mind.  Could she take care of herself?  Was she able to walk?  With medical care in the states would she regain movement in her right leg and arm.  How would her classmates treat her when they would see she is different? Ok Lord we beg of you to make it clear if Chen Hui Li is our little girl.  Lee and I agreed we would do some research the next day.  We have 24 hours to sign a letter of intent and then 72 hours to say we accept or do not accept. That night we prayed (or I should say begged) in bed that God would make it clear.

May 29th, 2015

I’m leaving for the beach and an email comes thru an eight year old with a skin condition.  I don’t have time to process as I’m walking out the door.  I’ve worked in a dermatology office and this one scares me.  I tell Simi I don’t think so as I don’t have time to look into it.  Lee is also feeling the same.  I ask her not to send the file.  I don’t want to always remember a sweet face we said no too.  I feel a little bit in a fog.  I’m enjoying two days with friends and try not to think about it.  Sunday I come home and the reality hits.  Did we make the right choice?  Why didn’t I really l stop what I was doing and research this little girl.  When I think of it the tears come easily.  I picture a little eight year old with no parents.  Monday I email Simi and ask if this precious one is still available.  She is no longer on the list and I feel relieved another family is pursuing her.  I however do think of her often in the next two weeks.

May 2015

Our dossier is logged in, now it is hard when we don’t get a match because I know it pushes back our travel three weeks each time we don’t get a can email. 

March 2015

With the paperwork behind us we now filed our dossier.  Until our dossier was registered in China we were only eligible for a special needs focus list which was a narrower list.  These children might have more severe disabilities or have been on the special needs list longer.  However Simi, our case worker said it was still possible to get a child.  The list came out every 3-4 weeks 8 am China time meaning 8pm our time.  Simi said she would email 11- 12 pm letting us know if she thought there might be a match.  These nights felt long as I stayed close to my computer to wait for that email that might contain a picture of our 5^th child.  Till our dossier was logged in it wouldn’t slow down the process of adopting so it wasn’t too hard each time Simi sent the email stating the system was slowing down and she didn’t expect to get too many more children coming thru. 

October 11th, 2014

I’m so excited as tonight myself and the family are heading up to Messiah College to have a family meeting and share how God is calling us to adopt.  Shira was drilling Lee and I on what the meeting was about.  She says dad and mom you’re adopting, and Cody pulls his ear phones out and says with disgust…Mom you are not pregnant are you!  This had me chuckling the rest of the way.  After picking up Mitch we all headed to Bonanza Restaurant.  I could hardly contain my excitement as Lee revealed the reason for our meeting.  He ask each child how they felt about it.  I loved everyone’s response:  Shira with great conviction says, Dad & Mom we are called to take care of the orphans and widows.  Mitch was slow to speak but after some thought, responded as Lee would have.  Well I won’t be around so really all the work is on you guys, but it sounds good to me.  Cody was so sweet and said could we get a little boy so I can play football with him.  I explained he would be close to going to college when she joined our family and he understood.  Kate just got a HUGE smile across her face.

The paper work began…a pink binder was started and it all became real.  The list of things to file, forms to be filled out, classes to be taken, interviews, and fingerprints to be done was daunting!  Not only did we need to get clearances, referrals, and prints done for Lee and I but for all three of the older kids. One of the many forms that needed to be filled out was going to our family doctor and discussing over 50 plus medical conditions, and what we would be willing to work with.  Could I handle a child with learning disabilities, missing limbs, skin conditions, blind, hearing loss, and the list went on and on.  Many of the terms I didn’t even recognize.  This is not an easy thing to do.  Every child needs a mom and dad to love them.  LHAA was so kind and said we want success for the child and parents.  Be realistic to what you know you can handle.  Lee and I both agreed we were not cut out for severe handicap or learning disabilities.  Taking a step back in time…Mitch’s second day into charter school he ask me a question, and Shira yells from her desk, “don’t ask mom she doesn’t know anything”!  I wanted to say yes Shira you are correct academics was not my strength and this is why you have teachers on line.  And if you want dinner…be kind!  But I tell you that story to say I’m not cut out to be a teacher, and patience has never been a strong character of mine. 

Beginning of October, 2014

I realized there was no way around it.  If God made it that clear that we were to adopt I had to follow thru.  So with excitement and fear I made the call to Living Hope Adoption Agency.  We could have been happy adopting anywhere but we felt this could be a beautiful thing for Kate to have a family member who looked like her. Due to our age and Kate’s age we came up with our desired adoptee request, anywhere from five to ten years of age. Adopting special needs thru China is very different than going the traditional route we went with Kate.  We were told we could even get a perfectly healthy child, but due to them being over 4 years of age they are harder to adopt so they are considered special needs.